The Christmas Tinner: Review

Hiding in the background for years, lurking where no one can find it, GAME have been selling a truly monstrous, yet curious product:

A Christmas Dinner in a Tin!

Otherwise known as the Christmas ‘Tinner’. Apparently, it’s been around since 2013 and only costs a mere £1.99. However, purchases are few and far between, because its so gross, who would provide the demand to have a large supply?

Sound Disgusting, have a look at what it contains:

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So as you can see this is not the most appetising Christmas diner in the world, I mean just looking at it induces a large gag reflex. The very fact that there is a layer of Christmas pudding at the bottom and Scrambled egg & Bacon at the top, implies that the flavour will be interesting at best.

Flavour:

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Normally, I try to be kind about everything I review, but this is just wrong. The flavours on their own are okay, but a large hit of Turkey, carrot and gravy alone is quite strong, then add on mince pie and Christmas pudding… strange isn’t the word. It’s kind of how I expect dog food to taste, with a hint of festive spice.

Just no.

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So I then tried a bit of each segment alone, which was not too bad. The carrot and parsnips taste pretty much like the real thing, expect pureed. The Brussel sprouts were prominent in flavour, but it’s again a bit weird not having the actual mini cabbage to chew on.

Unsurprisingly, the turkey was non-existent in flavour, being overpowered by the gravy and potatoes, which is a relief, because I’m not a massive fan of Turkey, as you will see in my previous review of Christmas Turkeys.

Texture:

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I nearly there up due to the dryness. A large glass of water is needed for this: some bits are like pate, other bits are like mashed potato with small lumps in. A real vomit inducing texture. The gravy was virtually non-existent in terms of moistening support, but was weirdly omnipresent in flavour… a ghost sensory effect.

I highly recommend preparing as if it was I’m a celebrity. Things will pop, things will crunch, and you will definitely be breaking up small lumps of potato in your mouth for days.

 

So as you can probably tell, not a massive fan of this meal, but if you’re on a budget and can’t afford a proper Christmas dinner, still Stay Away From This Meal!!! I will never be the same again. My girlfriend wouldn’t talk to me for a week after this.

I’m not even going to give this a 1 Star, this meal gets a -1 for its taste, flavour and subsequent psychological damage.

Still though, you could be washing it down with this:

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Please share your thoughts and experiences with this beast in a tin below in the comments.

 

 

 

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