I love ‘How to make money’ posts because they’re always so drastic like ‘Sell your car’ or ‘rent out a room’. Really? I’m not gonna have some stranger living in my house, eating my food and leaving skid marks in my toilet. Neither am I gonna sell my car, who the hell goes ‘Oh I need money, I know, I’ll sell my car’. Just no.
So here are some slightly more rational ways to make money at Christmas. Bear in mind though that because they are Christmas based, they are quite exclusive…
1) Offer to transport people’s Christmas Trees and Shopping
At this time of year, there is a lot of pain in the first world, mainly caused by heavy shopping and Christmas trees that are too big for people’s cars. To help with this, if you have a van or a particularly large car, why not charge people to transport their stuff. This is a good one as it applies all year round. For instance, come January, people will need their trees taking away, which you could offer to do! If you’re feeling super savvy, why not chop up the trees and sell it on as fire wood.
2) Become Santa Clause… or an Elf
Well maybe not the real one, because that would involve diabetes and SO many passports. But there are plenty of places looking for a plastic Santa to spread their cheer and if you can’t find anywhere, try booking places. Like imagine turning up to a pub at 10pm when everyone’s drunk with a bag of toys and a reindeer, I would pay to see that. Either that or you could offer exotic Santa lap dances at a strip club. Just remember to show no skin for less than a tenner.
3) Sell Your Christmas Presents
This one is immoral, but if people have neither the time nor inclination to get you a decent gift, then sod them. Take your presents and sell them on Gumtree, eBay, Amazon, or maybe even a trade in shop like CEX or Game. It’s important to show your love at Christmas, and if people refuse to do that by buying you awful presents, just cash in on them.
4) Work at a Christmas Market
These are great ways to make extra money with a proper, set wage. Christmas markets are always great to walk round and think ‘£10 for a wreath, no thank you’, and now you can be the person selling extortionate items. Or maybe you could be a steward, telling people where all the expensive stuff is. There are plenty of jobs at every Christmas market and everywhere has a Christmas market now, because it’s so cool and hip to have tinsel in a wooden hut for £10!
5) Christmas Temp Jobs
With the Christmas markets in mind, there are plenty of shop based jobs out there too looking for people to work through December and early January. Shelf stackers, till workers, personal shoppers, security guards, there are so many jobs out there for Christmas. I myself used to work in a fashion retailers as what turned out to be a human mannequin, which was quite fun to be fair (although the children shoppers were terrifying).
6) House/Pet Sitter
At this time of year, people love to go on holiday, leaving their houses empty to burgle- that’s not the money making scheme by the way. However, people tend to feel vulnerable when they leave their homes unprotected, making a gap in the market for house sitters. So if you enjoy living in other people’s homes for money, this could be your job. You can eat their food, there’s no rent money, and there will most likely be lots of food… food.
On the flip side, if you don’t actually want to live in someone’s house then you could always look at pet sitting, which involves you still going to their house, but only to feed and play with their pets before leaving again. So not only do you get to play with their pets, you get paid too. Plus there may be food.
7) Meals on Wheels
I love how you can now get food delivered to your home, so that you don’t have to haul your fat arse out of the house. You can be the person to that brings that joy to so many lazy people in your town. With a simple driving licence and the self-control not to eat the meals, you can be delivering meals to people all throughout December. I don’t think you can Frisbee the meals like a paper boy with a paper though, but that would be good.
…So yeah, that’s the 7 ways to make money this Christmas that are actually practical. You could also look at elsewhere for recommendations, but they will tell you to sign up for pay per click sites like SwagBucks, which could see you earn as much as £5 a week… really? All that time for £5 a week? You might as well sell your car if you’re doing that.
Let me know if any of these recommendations work, or if you have anything that you want some prat to try, and I will endeavour to try it.