A Tree is Just for Christmas

So today I said to my girlfriend ‘we have £40 for a Christmas tree, let’s go and see what we can get’. I’ve always loved Christmas, I always go big this time of year, for presents, food, clothes (gots to have my Christmas jumper), so when we say get any Christmas tree for £40, we wanted the biggest, fattest, floofiest tree we could find. Now the problem with this is we live in a two bedroom cottage, with an 8ft wide by 8ft tall room.

So if you don’t wanna end up like me and my Girlfriend, I highly recommend you go right where we didn’t:

1)      Have you got appropriate transport?

Image result for van christmas tree

When we bought our tree, not only did we get a monster, but we also had to carry it home, as our Nissan Micra is just too small. We’ve been together 8 years now, and every year we’ve made this mistake. Every year we carry this …kg (… pounds for the Americans) over a 45 minute walk. By the time we get home, covered in pine needle scratches and bruised muscles, the romance of Christmas is just gone, and the mere thought of looking at each other just because disgustingly infuriating.

Image result for christmas tree falls on person

It’s not worth the agro, and if you’re considering the position of big bicep boyfriend, or Wonder Woman girlfriend, I implore you to stop. Christmas trees might not seem heavy at first (or they may depending on you strength), but give it five minutes and you’ll be stopping and starting, arguing with your partner and threatening to start a yule tide bonfire.

Most people are normally sensible when transporting trees and they either get a tree that can fit in their vehicle, sort the help of a friend with a large enough car or van, or get the tree people to deliver it for you- the last option may cost a bit more, but might just save your relationship (if you have one).

2)      Will the tree fit in your house?

Image result for christmas tree too big for a house

This may sound like a daft question, but it has been scientifically proven that people often over estimate how large their furnishings are in relation to their home; by the way, this fact is not true, it’s just that ‘scientifically proven’ sounds more professional.

But if you’re anything like me and my Girlfriend, you’re definitely going to have convinced yourself that the tree from home alone would look tiny in your front room- this could not be further from the truth for us. When getting a Christmas tree, a tape measure can be your best friend. 

Image result for tape measure gif

A simple measure of your living room for both height and width can give you a good idea of what kind of tree you can get. But don’t stop there, do remember to also measure the Christmas tree before purchasing to make sure that it fits your room. Otherwise, you could end up with a monstrosity that blocks your walk way, your TV and your life.

3)      Do you have pets?

Image result for christmas cat

This last question really depends on what kind of pets you have, mainly the jumpier they are, the more cause for concern. In particular, cats are well known for climbing trees and when they do, it is nothing short of a Tarzan remake. Seriously, if you have excitable cats, it can be beneficial to consider getting a tree where the bottom has been relieved of all branches, kinda like this one…

Image result for argos cat christmas tree

This can be brilliant in stopping this from happening…

Image result for cat in a christmas tree

So if you wanna avoid another Christmas tree disaster like mine, please follow the above steps. There may still be time to fix things with your loved ones, but for me, it’s too late.

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6 thoughts on “A Tree is Just for Christmas

      1. We took to hanging the unbreakables on the lower branches and the breakables (theoretically) out of reach. We have had some very odd looking Christmas trees.

        But you know, if the cat’s happy….

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      2. Good idea, I will have to try this, even if the tree does look out of fashion! So fed up of picking sharp plastic out of my foot.

        But yes, please the cat at all costs 🙂

        Like

  1. One of our cats started cracking the lightbulbs between her teeth. The ornaments on the floor are a given. The Iguana was looking out from the top and we finally had to put the tree on our bedroom and close the door. I know someone who put their tree in a playpen. Kind of spoils the beauty of it but hey, ya gotta do whatcha gotta do.

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    1. Yeah, cats really are an underestimated risk with tress, especially when they’re hard enough to break lightbulbs with their teeth, that’s just terrifying!

      Like

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